18.12.05

goodbye x factor



- journey south should so have won. tried not to move their heavily made-up faces cos straining into a soft-rock ballbuster they immediately aged ten years! seemed to be working towards some kinda perfect man-ballad moment when they sing so hard their stonewash jeans spontaneously combust and their heads fly off around the auditorium and smash all the lights. i'd like to see sharon osbourne try to top that!

lil missy says: i liked journey south too - obv not as much as maria who totally should have won - wtf happened there! i like the one with the hair the most. when they got voted off, kate thornton was doing this weird 'oh i feel really sorry for you boys' face. it was LAME. she pouted like a fish and then shook her head like, 'they're going to be very, very depressed because of you!' I HATE HER she's rubbish!


- andy. andy!!! being a kind of walking talking heart fm you would have thought we all loved him here at spizzazzz towers. well you'd be dead wrong! inherently charmless 'noble balladeer somehow trapped in the unrelenting hell of rubbish collecting' routine milked every week. fuck sake man, grow some class! i am glad he was in the final though so simon could gratuitously drop the m-bomb and make him blub, that shit was funny deeply moving!

lil missy says: me & facelift were talking online and i meant to say, 'god, andy is about as charasmatic as an old sock' but i ended up writing, 'god is about as charasmatic as an old sock'. sacrelicious! but he is very boring. oooh andy you won't be a binman no more!


- shayne was aight but only when busting songs wot young people like. attempted thrusting heteroization of "take your mama out". "cry me a river" hilariously mangled by louis walsh's team of elderly superproducers trying to recreate the intricate timbaland drum programming! classic. i also liked when sir andi peters himself pushed the 'activate cd pressing machine' button after shayne won, perhaps to show the awesome and terrible power of the music industry! they don't just patiently burn one cd after another on an old dell you know! THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS (albeit business that could be sent into a tailspin of waste by a rogue andi peters).

lil missy says: ha ha andi peters. sorry but that documentary after the anniversary episode of neighbours was rubbish! he's always trying to be funny and failing miserably. and there was too much paul robinson, too. cute shirts, though. anyway, lots of ppl think shayne is well fit but let's face it, he's a crappy timberlake (justin shave your neck and start making records again we miss you!)


rob them co says: strictly come dancing was heavy! oh well.

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