it doesn't seem as exciting now but in other radio 1 news they're gonna play the new eminem single in 8 minutes. a loop of the chorus has been released on the internet and the beat is hot!

lisa 'left eye' lopez killed in car crash. fucking hell.

x-ecutioners - "it's going down"

ok, linkin park dude drops some perfunctory rhymes but i love the sound of his voice. the x-ecutioners themselves bung in some scratches. some guy who i think is from static x plays a nasty, totally fucking hooky regulation nu-metal riff. (yeah this is nu-metal alright - the emphasis is all on the riff and the way it interacts with the voice.)

the best thing that's been learnt since the rage against the machine era is that you don't need to constantly shout just because the music is aggressive - linkin park dude is swaggering all over the beat, he knows that all-out aggression isn't channelling anything interesting from hiphop, and quite possibly he knows that swagger + aggression is what delivers the most fun. this is of course the simplistic equation behind all the best limp bizkit singles (linkin park break all this down to a terrifyingly exact science for maximum impact, not unlike the endlessly refined dynamics of dancefloor fillers in any electronic genre... most of the time i can only gasp in awe), but "it's going down" doesn't lose its cool like every bizkit song does by the time it hits the cathartic chorus (which they do brilliantly). the riff is beefed up but for once there's no tension release. this is refreshing, definitely: i want to listen to it over and over, but i'm not sure if soon i will demand some big screaming chorus action again.

the streets - "lets push things forward"

damn, this shit gets tired super-fast!

holy jesus! the bbc wants budding producers and musicians to do a remix for arse-faced rotters liberty x! unfortunately it's for the new single which only barely passes the spizzazzz test for being alright brit-r'n'b (gotta show love for the home team - unless beverly knight is involved), and not damn hot debut single "thinking it over". motherfuckers!

blue - "fly by"

i hate being a sucker for any r'n'b with even the most vaguely pretty synth string melody (see also: "you rock my world"). and i hate wanting to dance when this song drops the "hypnotize" beat so blue-dude can rhyme like it's 1983 and he's only ever heard "rapper's delight". (blue aren't to be hated on principle, i just cannot forgive them for making a pig's ear out of the awesome "too close" originally by next!)

it's korn week on mtv2! this is notable as they will show the "freak on a leash" video a lot - a bullet flies through things in freaky go-motion style, and the band plays in a room full of bullet holes! and they come correct with a super-tight arrangement and that amazing percussive bass sound that has, like, no bass frequencies. it's such a good song that even my brother, who hates all music which dares to patronize him with melody, bid for the cd single in an ebay auction! spizzazzz loves tons of things on mtv2 and we'll post about them soon. stay tuned!

flick from neighbours - "kiss kiss"

it's just like "hey baby" but with a slightly lamer chorus, and without a big stefani-like personality getting in the way of the beat; can the song have been produced since "hey baby"'s release? i am unsure. it's still pretty good, since the no doubt song is a fine and interesting template on which to base the next few years of cutting edge chart music. perhaps in fact this is all post-"get ur freak on" music, as it sounds like the very idea of kick on 1 and 3 and snare on 2 and 4 is becoming outdated in this new style - the only thing that worries me is that they're trying to push us too hard with all these fx tricks, all the sudden silences and jerking pulses and hyper-real stereo phased moans. it's fun but it's also tiring for the senses; i wasn't hearing this in a club after ingesting huge numbers of mitsubishis (where is the club that will play flick from neighbours anyway?) - i was on a bus on my way to the shops and it was freaking me out!

outkast - "the whole world"

the sung intro is surprising and weird and affecting; i even got used to this toytown midi preset beat. (all hail the kiddiebeatz movement: the streets, outkast, pink...) but it's not enough for these fucks with their experimental rhyme patterns. organized noise should have laid down the law: this isn't a fucking def jux compilation here, you're making a big single for your greatest hits set and this is a shit beat to rhyme over! alas, dre and big boi can't be pushed around anymore so the last 4 minutes of this song is like an extended rap coda from some awful swingbeat non-hit. while they awkwardly navigate the time signature, i squirm impatiently until the chorus and pray that the next single will be a conservative remake of "rosa parks". (but that's only really because "rosa parks" is one of the best singles ever.)

bootlegs, of course, have become big news recently. (spizzazzz will not discuss scenes until all the practitioners have declared it dead and nme has done a "whither the scene" article... i mean i only just really got into drum'n'bass.) kylie's brit awards thing was good fun, no doubt, and i enjoyed reading this article about them, but i cant shake the feeling that it's a bit arse. i don't know how these people manage to make two totally un-smug records sound infinitely smug when mixed together, but it's quite a trick! perhaps it's because (in spite of the authors' protestations) it sounds like they believe putting two famous records together in smirking recognition is somehow worthier and smarter than the raw materials they're using; as if it was a game to see who can slap on the most layers of knowingness. i doubt i would mind about that, if my reaction to these records extended beyond "this works well" all the way to "this doesn't work very well". that ain't a fun response to anything.

i feel it should be noted that during our holiday MILIAN finally released her juggernaut fizzpop anthem "am to pm" to quite reasonable acclaim and a top 10 chart position, but failed to make a britney-like dent on our collective foreheads. and speaking of pop's reigning perky princess, her terrifyingly awkward debut movie finally came out - at the showing i went to today, even the under-10s were laughing when brit read out the lyrics to "not a woman, not yet a she-man" as one of her character's poems. other things i noted during the film:

- britney's eyes are very wide apart.
- one of her female co-stars was possibly chosen because she has an absurdly long neck, making britney's neck look almost human in comparison.
- britney's speaking voice is just as weird as her singing voice, unless they're both performing affectations she developed after too many years on the mickey mouse club.
- the filmmakers have not watched any teen films since that 80s one where john cusack gets chewing gum stuck all over his face.
- "overprotected" is wicked.

brandy - "what about us": and what about a tune? 6-odd months ago a very famous and talented r'n'b singer died in a tragic accident (how could her luggage be so heavy when when her clothes were so skimpy and small?!). she was chiefly famous for her somewhat gothic image, understated vocals, and her edgy, futuristic collaborations with a revered producer. brandy is a famous tv star who has decided to reignite her singing career by introducing a somewhat gothic image, a new understated approach to her vocals, and some edgy, futuristic collaborations with a revered producer. i'm not suggesting some kind of conspiracy (yet), but i believe it's a safe bet that most young r'n'b singers now wish to emulate aaliyah's credibility and distinctive music. "what about us" just proves that it's not as easy as it seems!

ok ok, over the next few days i will post some thoughts on singles that were released during our hiatus:

enrique englasias - "hero": very very popular, but with who? i became so obsessed with this that one day during it's shocking #1 chart run i hid among the £6.99 sale albums in virgin megastore to see who was buying this strange record. my results were: 45% young teens, both male and female; 15% menopausal mothers; 15% virgin employees (possibly removing the cds for some kind of cleaning process - have you seen the steam-sweat buildup in virgin?!); 15% jack cable.

another riddle: in the video, why does enrique appear to be stuffing money into jennifer love hewitt's skirt?! if i was her, christ, i'd go with mickey rourke every time! dude is a proper hunk of man.

damn, its been a little while - spizzazzz is back. we should have quashed the no-posting-blues quicker than an r kelly court case, but instead it took 3 months! dude! i'm trying super-hard to remember what happened while we were away so i can give a succinct and hilarious overview, but instead a few words insistently buzz around my brain...

oi, who's that more fire crew???