24.12.04

mario ft cassidy - 18


sometimes i listen to r'n'b radio shows and wonder how that weird swing sound got so prevelant, the jerky spazz bass headnod type sound. in v general terms, the drums are usually clompy super square kick-hat-snare-hat patterns but all the other sounds (like some guitar type noises and keyboards and bass) are gasping fractionally off the beat. i think this whole sound could have been developed from how people nod their heads! if, as in this kind of swing, there is a wider space where your melodic or bass element could hit on the snare and kick hits then it makes it easier for your hypothetical head to snap back satisfyingly. (your head movement does not match the decay of a kick or snare sound ie. the sound will already be gone by the time your head is back to it's regular position, unless you do that painful neck snapping, in which case you are a twat.)

you can hear different variations of it in jay dee-ish rap and probably other places but the soul version is weird because i don't think i ever heard it help a song out - sometimes it sounds like an unwilling concession to sequencing and electronics from dudes who want to play slap bass live for several hours and find on-beatness too inorganic, sometimes it is perfectly bearable, but has it ever made anything more danceable and/or fun? fucking no!

oh but listen, this kinda old mario song makes a valiant go of being fun, it's like he and his beatman actually believe in the spazzness and build the whole song around it! especially the extremely tight usher-baiting chorus: next time y'all underestimate me / recognize i just turned eighteen / that means i got seven years to catch up so what's up? huuh haah! the best get-out clause ever, split up jamesdeanbradfield-style with emphasis on wrong/unexpected sylables!

oh yeah remember if this post is rubbish i might be younger than you so get lost merry xmas!

17.12.04

gype clash

regional bedroom mc's wreck the new ridiculously sick gype riddim over the phone on daytime 1xtra, crazy! i think they are doing another round today, check it 3-5pm.

16.12.04

the chart is fifty per cent wack

the uk top 40: it used to be real. then it was somewhat less real. then i forgot to check for ages. so i wanted to decide scientifically how real the chart is at the moment, and to introduce a special yuletide hardline approach to realness, which will also apply to presents.

deep dish - flashdance: real
kelis - millionaire: real
beastie boys - open letter to nyc: fake
joss stone - right to be wrong: fake
khia - my neck my back (lick it): fake
paul holt - fifty grand for christmas: fake
blue - curtain falls: real
ash - renegade cavalcade: fake
shania twain - party for two: real
the corrs - long night: fake
brian wilson - good vibrations: fake
mcfly - room on the 4rd floor: real
mousse t - right about now: fake
maroon 5 - sunday morning: fake
michael gray - the weekend: real
jamelia - dj/stop: real
usher - confessions II/my boo: real
eric prydz - call on me: fake
u2 - vertigo: fake
babyshambles - killamangiro: real
geri - ride it: real
jay-z/linkin park - numb/encore: real
jojo - baby it's you: real
christina aguilera - car wash: fake
brian mcfadden - irish son: fake
3rd wish - obsession (si es amor): real
eminem - just lose it: real
uniting nations - out of touch: real
snoop dogg - drop it like it's hot: real
nelly - tilt ya head back: fake
gwen stefani - what you waiting for: real
natasha bedingfield - unwritten: fake
robbie williams - misunderstood: fake
green day - boulevard of broken dreams: real
lemar - if there's any justice: real
girls aloud - i'll stand by you: fake
destiny's child - lose my breath: fake
ice cube - you can do it: fake
kylie minogue - i believe in you: real
band aid 20 - do they know it's xmas: fake

wack.

11.12.04

destiny's child - girl

(there goes oppressive white man rob them co like he owns dancehall!)

this is my other favourite off the dc album, more wintery warm plaid and distant sparkle through your frosted r'n'b window. the whole album is so winter-specific it seems inevitable there will be another solo charge by summer - beyonce in the middle with unimpeachable powerful-thighed #1 anthem, michelle (who kills it on fulfilled) to one side with her gospel choir, kelly on the other with some bizarrely wrong-headed misstep that i will secretly love. oh kelly! on "girl" she has a mongy boyfriend who has ruined her self-esteem but b and m are there to offer choice words. they way they sing 'gir-ir-irl' in the chorus is so perfect, as are the pretty ascending strings at the end of every 8-bar and b's exacting amount of melismatic reach for her overdubs. i love dc.

8.12.04

sean paul - legalize it

- those spanish clicky clappy crab things like wot they have in school music rooms are cool (castanets??)

- i think i am totally starting to feel andre 3000 jaunty fake URRR CLOWNSTEP like the tracks on the g stefani lp and "millionaire". crazy! someone should legalize clownstep, never mind weed and nunchucks

- straining to hit notes is cool. sean paul has to strain for every note! sean paul is ghetto. legalize him

- lenky is cool, i look forward to his future riddims and his contributions to the lord of the rings: the return of the king extended edition dvd

'i don't normally like 'the' 'hiphop' but that ice cube tune is cracking!'



oh colin you're so witty and right!