destiny's child - if

a ballad which sounds as if still trapped in the torpor and sentimentality of immediate breakup blues but the lyrics are post survivor revelatory: if you think I caught a feeling when I heard about that other chick (no) / i already knew about it / i just needed time just to clear my mind and ask myself / (why I didn’t handle him). dc always surviving and never giving anything back! 'if' is ravishingly beautiful but it scares me like if this is what you think to yourself when you're gently reflecting then how unforgiving are you on the bus into town with your loud friends?? everyone will hear. i feel like i really did done do beyonce and michelle wrong (kelly wishes!), "playing around with them raggedy heffers" (i know wtf) and look, just stop surviving for five minutes so we can talk!

but all this isn't to say i can't relate, ok! it's also amazingly real because it's all well and good on shiny going-out anthems but to be steely even while wrapping up warm alone on a winter's night and reflecting is exactly what it takes to survive! probably?

it would be cool if "my neck my back" had been in the top ten for two-and-a-half years!

and also if khia was actually in the excessively sleazy video.

odb rip

once when i was fifteen i was at my friend carlos's house with all these older mc type dudes who had rhyme books. rhyme! books! i wasn't really in awe of them but they had better clothes and impress-me brithop attitudes which i found very intimidating! there was probably a couple of hours of dourly boring weedtalk before we all bonded spitting "brooklyn zoo" at each other, gunclapping at the "ch-ch bloaw!" parts, authentically stutter-wobbling our voices for "my hip hop drops on your head like ra-a-ain". i still can't think of a song which better communicates love of rap language, or convinces me more that there is a valuable and important understanding between worldwide rap dudes.