i saw in beat that kelly would be making an appearance at my local mindbogglingly humongous shopping complex so i cancelled everything i was supposed to be doing on that day and spent the next two weeks waiting for it to arrive.
this was good preparation for all the waiting you must do at a celebrity appearance. for a start it took a really long time to walk thru the carpark. i was also expecting to get lost but once i was inside i just headed towards the crowd of kids wagging school who were nonchalantly milling around on the level above centre stage.
down on the floor there were only very dedicated fans & weird ppl because you had to buy a kelly cd if you wanted to meet her. mostly it was the kind of very grownup acting teenage girl i'd wished i was when i was 14 but i ended up standing in queue behind a hardcore destiny's child fan (check the tattoo!) and in front of a "crazy" guy called smurfy who collects autographs.
smurfy had just come back from tennessee where he'd been harvesting wrestlemania autographs and meeting creed and guns'n'roses. at first it was interesting talking to him but after a while smurfy started yelling unfunny things out in response to the annoying guy from nova100 who was keeping the crowd occupied. eventually he went onstage and sang bits from the chorus of stole into a microphone held in his trembly wrists and won the vanilla slice you can see him eating in this picture, which one of the anonymous nova100 gofers had already taken a bite out of! this is about the time i got 'distracted' taking a lot of these bad grainy spy photos you can see
so yeah when kelly did finally turn up she was wearing a small tight black tracksuit with stilettos. she was very slight and graceful and looked like a swan. she said stuff about kangaroos and koalas and the outback and beaches (="what australia's really about") and "i love you" and then got straight to work with the signing! oh also destiny's child are not split up and beyonce and michelle love us too and hope to visit real soon. when she sat down behind the desk it was as though she was hardly even there, she had her head down and was signing autographs
at a furious rate, pausing only to have her photo taken with children or the disabled, and sometimes to wave at the girls who kept riding up and down the escalators yelling "WE LOVE YOU KELLYYYY". she seemed shocked when i presented my copy of writing's on the wall for signing, maybe because she has really bad hair on that. i don't know what i expected but she seemed distant. nice but not super nice. i wanted to ask her about working with joe budden and nelly but she seemed like she just wanted to get the day over with and i don't think i'd have got a straight answer from her anyway. so this story just makes it in on the tail end of hate week! whatever completely vague, insincere and cartoonish things she said about their country (she's also on record as saying she loves australia because it's just like america which probably isn't far off) her australian fans still love her tho, the best thing about the whole event was the private smiles on ppl's faces as they came away from their meeting (best examples not captured here).
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