scissor sistaz - i dont feel like dancingthere was a special time last year when me and jack cable realised the guy from scissor sisters looks EXACTLY like this guy who worked in brighton rap store m*c ch*ck (rip), it was one of them staring you in the face moments which makes life worth living. i spose its not very entertaining for anyone else though. fuck you! anyway, "i dont feel like dancing": it's annoying, and unlike old ss singles it doesnt get any less annoying the 4000th time you hear it, well done!
there is a disconnect between the song's obv belief that it is in a joyous disco rock continuum when the actual lumbering effect is more like the automatic or hard fi with some falsetto singing, but lucky for ss the world wants the latter anyway.
lil missy sez: i once had a flatmate who i dubbed 'fuck me baby' because that's all i ever heard her shout all night long, and she LOVED the scissor sisters.
justin - sexybackugh the album is such a fucking downer!
lil missy sez: i thought i'd be more excited about jt's comeback single. i did dance to this song last night when i went out dancing. i read a review of justin's new album in the guardian this weekend which mentioned his dodgy lyrics. one of which was 'i'll take you to dubai' and the guardian was like, 'why, so you can hang out with jim davidson?' and that made me lol since my friend bee is in dubai right now with jim davidson and she's playing polo with micheal jackson. so suck on that subsection!
nelly furtado - promiscuousugh the album is such a fucking downer!
lil missy sez: the best thing about the vid is timbaland! he has the cutest face, EVER! i know he was really cute in 'cry me a river' but in this one it's just through the roof. i want to talk to him on the phone! i was walking into town with my best friend lucy this week and she started making weird noises and i realised that she was singing this song. and now i think it's kind of good!
robbie williams - rudeboxpeople, or at least radio one djs, have often acted like this is a unfathomable departure for rw, but HELLO I DONT WANNA ROCK DJ??? i think when rock dj came out it had a really strong chorus and rw was untouchable as #1 pop act so its insaneness was contextualized as to be invisible. now he is an old bastard and even though rudebox is pretty good fun the chorus aint that strong so its like, omg wtf are you doing rob we just wanna feeeeel!?
the vid positions him as elder statesman of pop huffing and puffing at young people's music while lithe 19 year olds frollic around him, not unlike a fat northern madonna. 'ah yes my pretties ive seen it all now, MIGHT AS WELL HAVE A LAUGH'. bit unpleasant but preferable to the my drug hellisms of his previous 92 videos.
lil missy sez: JUSTIN'S SO MUCH BETTER. everyone is still rocking 'angels' on their x factor audition. i am loving this series a lot. i was surprised that eskimo blonde didn't get through though, they made 'viva forever' which was the spice girls lamest single sound really good! sharon always agrees with simon and louis. i think i'm getting a crush on louis which is really weird because i think he's a dick, especially when he said girls aloud were too chubbs when he was also managing westlife at the time who were a load of fat bifters themselves. ugh, i hate westlife. but there's something about louis and his twinkling eyes!!
shakira - hips dont lielil missy sez: i danced to this last night even though it's balls! i still don't like this at all. i HATE the way she sings. 'oh baby when you talk like that! it makes me sing like a twat!' okay, maybe it's growing on me a TINY bit. but when that man starts shouting, 'shakira! shakira!' that's well annoying. my boss wants to be known as shakira, for mysterious personal reasons.
snow patrol - chasing carsi dont quite know
what? what is it you dont know?
how to say
HOW TO SAY WHAT??
how i feel
ohhh, how you FEEL. well come on spit it out you binner
those three words / are said too much / they're not enough
that's one in the eye for conventional romance! ive got three words for you too
forget what we're told / before we get too old / show me a garden that's bursting into life
you're a pervert!
lil missy sez: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzBORINGzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
lemar - its not that easynumber eight eh? maybe it's just from download sales, i dunno. one time i wrote this shitty rvw of lemar's song "50/50" where i suggested jay-z's "can't knock the hustle" was rubbish. i must have been in a weird mood or something cos it's aces! i could bellow the mary j part all day long! i don't think i will ever bellow a lemar song but who can say. he is on the new sony bmg imprint called white rabbit, what's that all about??
lil missy sez: this boy i know who is as straight as you like revealed his huge man crush on lemar over august bank holiday weekend. it was quite a surprise for all of us! when he got pissed he'd shout, OH LEMAR! weird, right? i think i like that song about not having sex with boys too soon, that they always play at my local wetherspoons, better than this one. doesn't lemar have lovely eyes? huge, celery coloured eyes! pretty!!
beyonce - deja vulil missy sez: lets face it, most of beyonce's songs are mad boring. this is another boring one, maybe it'll grow on me the way that 'baby boy' with sean paul did, but i don't think so! the best thing about beyonce is her fashion and dancing.
the feeling - never be lonelyb-b-b-baby / i think im going c-c-c-crazy wow this motherfucker must be crazy since he's stuttering and everything. dont mind if i do! (actually i am quietly impressed by this part but the rest is awful)
lil missy sez: this is really DUMB. i hate this. it sounds like old fashioned music that's really bad. UGH.
chamillionaire - ridinif i can just get boring about it for a sec, one thing i always notice about "ridin" is how it announces the drum track in the intro in order for the drums to become invisible for the rest of the song, cos since you've heard them unadorned there is no curiosity or working out to be done, cham has said THESE ARE MY DRUMS (and they are really good and distinctive drums) so then you can get on with the spitting and the synths and the general drama of the song. i like that! (obv not a new trick in the world of music but this is a strong example.)
lil missy sez: he's just tryin to bone, he ain't tryin to have no babies!! how cute was chamillionaire when he won that award at the vmas? i thought that was so cute! when he was talking about racial profiling and how 50 cent was telling him he was going to win but he didn't think he would. i'm glad he won best video because i think the video is jokes! (even though i don't think it's meant to be). this is the best song in the top ten!
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