ahh i love aguilera! just look at these covers, that "can't hold us down" one must be the coolest thing i've seen all year, except for elf. out of all megastar types she elicits the most interesting reactions. at the time c.h.u.d. (chud!) was released all the internet shit about her was like, "oh it's obvious aguilera and lil kim have reached some kind of nadir in the trend of looking like dead-eyed prostitute freaks." no it is not fucking obvious, you creeps! maybe they are just having fun with style and you all hate women? guilty until proven innocent!
she put out four singles this year from her ancient album and tried to come up with the perfect release schedule:
winter: warming and super-affecting semi-ballad (which i sometimes think is the greatest song ever released)
spring: unlikely rock-classical fusion! which sounds like that en vogue "free your mind" song! (spring is a good time for seemingly more ambitious songs because everyone is just happy it got a bit warmer and will give some stupid shit a chance)
summer: the r'n'b banger with themed sticky summer video (ok it's not really that much of a banger but that's cool, it has that terrible faux-dancehall coda which makes it worth listening to!)
christmas: the realer-than-real proper ballad with no handlebars which most spizzazzz non-writers think is better than "beautiful".
now go copy that schedule, megastars!
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