the top ten

pet shop boys - miracles

i've barely heard any pet shop boys but you know when people are talking about girls aloud or something and they're like, "oh it's just a great pop single! how i delight in the arcane magic of the three minute pop song! pop pop pop!", they are always secretly holding all other songs up to these fucking dudes! and abba! fuck that!

crooklyn clan ft fatman scoop, faith evans, julia stiles, black sheep & e crunk - be faithful

actually 4real it's about time black sheep got to be on a number one! scoop appeared on zane the other week and did his thing over like, the white stripes and some other indie motherfuckers. let me tell you, no one came out of that shit well! least of all me for listening to it.

outkast - hey ya

hiphop connection is not a magazine i am likely to agree with, mainly because everyone who writes for it is completely insane. the center pages have a hiphop honey/game girl on one side and then like, shortee blitz's top ten current faves on the other! ahh i've gone blind! however, sometimes it is very funny, and their "hey ya" rvw was spot-on: essentialy, this song is ok as a little mp3 curio or if you want to actually sit through that interminable andre 3000 album, but as a radio/video blitz ("oh what a fantastic pop single!") it is the most annoying shit anyone has ever heard.

kevin lyttle - turn me on

steady eyes! in the video it is kind of like k lyttle is an old portrait who's eyes have been cut out and someone else is watching you through the holes. his gaze followed me all the way to hmv! to buy this record! because it's good!

britney ft madonna - me against the music

my three favourite songs off the britney album:

1) the fast one where she raps the verses and then hits us off with an incredible drivetime chorus! ahh the rush is killing me! i think this might be the best song ever.

2) the one which could be no doubt! it made me kind-of sad that real reggae has replaced fake reggae in the charts. where is the fake reggae meant to go?? thanks a fucking bunch, s paul!

3) the one that features the ying yang twins and is called "(i got that) boom boom"! (being only the third best song on the album when it features the ying yang twins and is called "(i got that) boom boom" means it is a terrible failure anyway but nevermind!)

lemar - 50/50

the beat is a bit like "can't knock the hustle" by jay-z! but hey look, lemar's name is almost lamer! cool! anyway "can't knock the hustle" sucked as well, like jay wins over the streets with that "dead presidents/ain't no nigga" 12 but then follows it with an awkward mary j chorus type song!? (look at the parallels! lamer won us over with that song about dancing... possibly dancing in the streets while hustling) you would have thought if you can't get a collab with mary j right then you might as well give up! but jay didn't give up, he made 60 million more albums. maybe it will work out the same for lamer.

busted - crashed the wedding

everyone says the video for this is heavy, but... ok look it really is! the song is good too but i dunno what to say about busted anymore, i feel like i have been writing about them every week for longer than i can remember, even though i haven't actually mentioned them for months. people need to take a bit longer between albums so i can think up some new shit! it is kind of disturbing that they are like the only representatives of punk pop left in the charts, i heard that new blink 182 song the other day and it was ugly!

alex parks - maybe that's what it takes

jesus christ, stop singing like that!

girls aloud - jump

fantastic pop! so energetic and brash! god i wish beyonce wouldn't do ballads!

(it sucks!)

just pretend nothing is at number one this week.