what the charts told us
cassidy's "get no better": not especially popular, bad video with cassidy somewhat overstating things by courting mashonda (i forget what she did, the r'n'b version of "damn!"?) in a courtyard, never heard it much on the radio; and yet it did just as well as everyone's fave spring anthem, "on fire" by l banks a few weeks ago, wtff?
what this tells us:
- british people l-o-v-e rap ballads. (we really fucking do! i think even ll's "paradise" did quite well)
- g-unit don't care that much about pushing singles anymore. (i dunno, maybe? they know they are gonna sell bare albums off the brand; the banks and buck singles don't sound that interested in converting people [like people wot throw piss at them at reading 'festival' or whatever] but yeah yeah why should they; i am still kinda hoping "let me in" will be all over radio because it's super nice but only two weeks till the release now!)
21.9.04
scratchscratchscratch! etc
the new dj rectangle cd is probably the best one this decade! and it has very few zzzzz dialogue samples! he still hasn't brought back the lateral thinking and big set-piece blends from 'ill rated' and 'vinyl combat' but that might be impossible in 04 anyway: too many drastically differing tempos (crazy when you think how many standard templates have been introduced since even 00, the stuff people [or at least trina!] must have at least one of on their album) when rectangle is midtempo bassline bump through and through*.
what he has kinda brought back is the nice second-string tunes life is otherwise too short to get into, like meth and snoop on "we some dogs" or whatever that silkk the shocker song is. stuff that barely even makes it onto real mixtapes. it's like foundation album-track rap, it's good 4 you but it takes some dude like rectangle to put it in the context of actually being fun. oh yeah his scratches and cuts are catchy as always too!
*having said this, six million dollar hand being so good probably suggests that midtempo bassline bump is have a really good year! probably in part bcoz of g-unit's blanket refusal to fuck with other tempos.
the new dj rectangle cd is probably the best one this decade! and it has very few zzzzz dialogue samples! he still hasn't brought back the lateral thinking and big set-piece blends from 'ill rated' and 'vinyl combat' but that might be impossible in 04 anyway: too many drastically differing tempos (crazy when you think how many standard templates have been introduced since even 00, the stuff people [or at least trina!] must have at least one of on their album) when rectangle is midtempo bassline bump through and through*.
what he has kinda brought back is the nice second-string tunes life is otherwise too short to get into, like meth and snoop on "we some dogs" or whatever that silkk the shocker song is. stuff that barely even makes it onto real mixtapes. it's like foundation album-track rap, it's good 4 you but it takes some dude like rectangle to put it in the context of actually being fun. oh yeah his scratches and cuts are catchy as always too!
*having said this, six million dollar hand being so good probably suggests that midtempo bassline bump is have a really good year! probably in part bcoz of g-unit's blanket refusal to fuck with other tempos.
20.9.04
we love mastermind youth team
check them at the very end of this video, particularly the final dude with amazing sniper sight lock tekken hands!
check them at the very end of this video, particularly the final dude with amazing sniper sight lock tekken hands!
19.9.04
christina milian - l.o.v.e.
so the released version of this song (the uk album version, dunno about elsewhere) is good but a bit weird, for one thing it features beardo freak joe budden threatening to 'take you to the 80s' but then the beat comes in and it's not what i think of as 80s at all, in fact it's really subdued - doomy descending bassline and drums from "the show" all drugged up with echo (oh right they did use echo in the 80s 4real) for no apparent reason, as unnecessary as milian's bizarrely dull mtv looky-likey show. however! there's also this other version from early promos which has loads of things going good:
- twinkly-sweet melody from the world's greatest synth xylophone, a super tuneful palette cleanser like those notes at the beginning of the scoobay riddim which have the effect of focusing you on the drums refreshed and renewed
- four hard kicks plus horn stabs like wot happens at the start of "party up"
- milian hiccupily matching the xylophone for the chorus
- the kicks matching milian's sylables when she goes 'l-o-v-e forever' (and just for that one bit she uses the #1 classic dirty pop phone call filter, cool!)
- proper milian middle-eight type section with a harp no less!
- bonus-beats break right after the middle-eight (suggesting promo-version-specific not bothering to put a guest verse in, cool!)
check the too real to be released version for yourself.
15.9.04
slow fucking til the crack of dawn
anyone know why lil missy's favourite song of 02 (and least autumnal song ever!) is back two years later with some awful remix all over the radio? it's very weird!
anyone know why lil missy's favourite song of 02 (and least autumnal song ever!) is back two years later with some awful remix all over the radio? it's very weird!
goldie lookin chain - guns don't kill etc
listening to people spit, anyone, even these knobs, is pretty interesting: the words they choose, the voices they choose, the space between lines, the jokes, the breath control, the emphasis, the intangible stuff. so much stuff going on to make me forget my hellish life! glc will always make the wrong choices (i guess that's the point?). their jokes are so full of hate that i can only wish a swift end to their career.
and yet! my ears perk up when they come on (this is the most-played rap record on radio 1 for like the past two months, thanks britain!) just because they rhyme instead of sing, and because there's lots of them to contrast off each other and hearing more than three mc's on a track is a bit more uncommon now and and and rap is really good no matter what it sounds like. so i think perhaps if you don't get something from listening to "guns don't kill etc" you probably hate rap.
listening to people spit, anyone, even these knobs, is pretty interesting: the words they choose, the voices they choose, the space between lines, the jokes, the breath control, the emphasis, the intangible stuff. so much stuff going on to make me forget my hellish life! glc will always make the wrong choices (i guess that's the point?). their jokes are so full of hate that i can only wish a swift end to their career.
and yet! my ears perk up when they come on (this is the most-played rap record on radio 1 for like the past two months, thanks britain!) just because they rhyme instead of sing, and because there's lots of them to contrast off each other and hearing more than three mc's on a track is a bit more uncommon now and and and rap is really good no matter what it sounds like. so i think perhaps if you don't get something from listening to "guns don't kill etc" you probably hate rap.
13.9.04
ciara ft ludacris - oh
i dunno do you have to be a dude to inhabit the nate dogg role in a rap sub-genre? no one called him bubblegangsta! but bubblegum crunk is apparently what ciara and nss16 make, those vapid bitches huh guys! anyway i was feeling "goodies" about as much as rtc but "oh" is the real deal - fuzzy-warm bass grind not unlike trillville's "neva eva" but much slower, in fact slow enough to touch toes at the magic 70bpm mark (the realest tempo in music??). perfect for luda and for ciara's almost sing-chat style, so understated she's like the secretly brilliant yet shy member of xscape or someone suddenly busting out with her own style!
9.9.04
estelle ft some dude - free
estelle! you've wasted your fairly decent slippery double-time flow on this maroon 5 live jam beat! how brit-hop of you! i heard a couple more new songs on t nelson last night and they are full-on construction-set r'n'b like, OH I DON'T KNOW LETS SAY FOR INSTANCE, ms dynamite. the best estelle verse is still her guest on 3sl's version of "touch me tease me" which she has no doubt disowned anyway!
(in other brit ladygirl rapper news, this is proper o!m!g! amazing... do nio next!)
estelle! you've wasted your fairly decent slippery double-time flow on this maroon 5 live jam beat! how brit-hop of you! i heard a couple more new songs on t nelson last night and they are full-on construction-set r'n'b like, OH I DON'T KNOW LETS SAY FOR INSTANCE, ms dynamite. the best estelle verse is still her guest on 3sl's version of "touch me tease me" which she has no doubt disowned anyway!
(in other brit ladygirl rapper news, this is proper o!m!g! amazing... do nio next!)
7.9.04
the nelly albums
- the best thing about nelly is in his videos and tv appearances and singles and accessories he will always tweak your imagination enough so you believe something brilliant and amazing could happen, which must be as important as something brilliant and amazing actually happening. if people don't have that i will never get to the brillmazing bits because i will be playing ps2 or keying cars instead.
- the sweat and suit thing is a big ruse so nelly could release the most outrageously wet album rap has known. i mean r'n'b albums are normally 10x tuffer than suit, for instance the recent teedra moses record is full of space-ballads and synths that mop up the audio spectrum like crusty bread in your broccoli and stilton soup. and it would fuck nelly up!
- it is important to mention that suit is also amazingly brilliant!
- sweat is quite shit.
- in fact it's not really shit but they fucked up that c aguilera duet debuted at the vmas, boring one-chord funk vamping that sounds like it was recorded just after "lady marmalade" (what happened to rockwilder btw?) - that's a lifetime ago! i don't need this shit anymore and it makes me tired with life.
- i don't need the chest-beating impotent horns in zzzzzzzzz "heart of a champion" either.
- however! "american dream" and "getcha getcha" are two insanely tight st lunatics-featuring twinkly keyboard+hard drums anthems. st lunatics are wicked! also "flap your wings" gets even better with each successive month and now it's number one in the charts, mental! it sounded like number eight with a bullet.
- "playa" has the once-improbable line-up of nelly, missy and mobb deep and will probably win the aesthete div vote for being based around some shit 80s wanktro song. mobb deep's snugly fitting in with 04-hop is in some way depressing, like just as the ultimate symbol of how the east monged everything up this decade.
- and then there was suit!
- which begins with the one-two gentle palm caress of pharrell (electro drumkit and unpleasant keys flourish suddenly in second minute due to delicate nelly/pharrell interplay...mmm the gayness) and jazze pha (elastic-bassed like that twista "badunkadunk" song but better for having good t.i. and nelly verses - the closest track to "ride wit me"-style midtempo blissout).
- oh but then it's "my place" which is wack.
- "n dey say" is that spandau ballet song! "true"! and w/o even a chunky breakbeat on top like wot pm dawn had. it's audacious and lovely and probably why nelly wanted to release two albums in the first place.
- "woodgrain and leather wit a hole" is beautiful melancholy hypnoticness which breaks down in a bizarre double-time hand clap style. "over and over" and "nobody knows" are just as beautiful although they might become embarrassing by next week!
- so you better get suit quick fast.
- the best thing about nelly is in his videos and tv appearances and singles and accessories he will always tweak your imagination enough so you believe something brilliant and amazing could happen, which must be as important as something brilliant and amazing actually happening. if people don't have that i will never get to the brillmazing bits because i will be playing ps2 or keying cars instead.
- the sweat and suit thing is a big ruse so nelly could release the most outrageously wet album rap has known. i mean r'n'b albums are normally 10x tuffer than suit, for instance the recent teedra moses record is full of space-ballads and synths that mop up the audio spectrum like crusty bread in your broccoli and stilton soup. and it would fuck nelly up!
- it is important to mention that suit is also amazingly brilliant!
- sweat is quite shit.
- in fact it's not really shit but they fucked up that c aguilera duet debuted at the vmas, boring one-chord funk vamping that sounds like it was recorded just after "lady marmalade" (what happened to rockwilder btw?) - that's a lifetime ago! i don't need this shit anymore and it makes me tired with life.
- i don't need the chest-beating impotent horns in zzzzzzzzz "heart of a champion" either.
- however! "american dream" and "getcha getcha" are two insanely tight st lunatics-featuring twinkly keyboard+hard drums anthems. st lunatics are wicked! also "flap your wings" gets even better with each successive month and now it's number one in the charts, mental! it sounded like number eight with a bullet.
- "playa" has the once-improbable line-up of nelly, missy and mobb deep and will probably win the aesthete div vote for being based around some shit 80s wanktro song. mobb deep's snugly fitting in with 04-hop is in some way depressing, like just as the ultimate symbol of how the east monged everything up this decade.
- and then there was suit!
- which begins with the one-two gentle palm caress of pharrell (electro drumkit and unpleasant keys flourish suddenly in second minute due to delicate nelly/pharrell interplay...mmm the gayness) and jazze pha (elastic-bassed like that twista "badunkadunk" song but better for having good t.i. and nelly verses - the closest track to "ride wit me"-style midtempo blissout).
- oh but then it's "my place" which is wack.
- "n dey say" is that spandau ballet song! "true"! and w/o even a chunky breakbeat on top like wot pm dawn had. it's audacious and lovely and probably why nelly wanted to release two albums in the first place.
- "woodgrain and leather wit a hole" is beautiful melancholy hypnoticness which breaks down in a bizarre double-time hand clap style. "over and over" and "nobody knows" are just as beautiful although they might become embarrassing by next week!
- so you better get suit quick fast.
6.9.04
another thing about n bedingfield
what's this shit where people* say 'golly gosh, aren't songs about writing songs/songs about writers block rubbish!' like a) the world was endlessly swamped with meta-songs and b) it was anything other than a twatty excuse not to engage with n bedingfield's amazing 04 anthem!
(in other news i had a dream where i was sat at the bedingfield family dinner table and mum bedingfield served the most foul food i had ever dream-tasted!)
*i may have made up these people as i can't remember where i saw it now
what's this shit where people* say 'golly gosh, aren't songs about writing songs/songs about writers block rubbish!' like a) the world was endlessly swamped with meta-songs and b) it was anything other than a twatty excuse not to engage with n bedingfield's amazing 04 anthem!
(in other news i had a dream where i was sat at the bedingfield family dinner table and mum bedingfield served the most foul food i had ever dream-tasted!)
*i may have made up these people as i can't remember where i saw it now
2.9.04
i had forgotten the westwood uk hip hop mix!
it was really impressively bad! but now he has kinda backed ukg raphop so if he ever bothers with vol two it will be aight! (he won't bother.) (although it would be cool if westwood was the first to document good grime on a major label!)
in that respect it shows he's now following the lead of our beloved semtex, who just upped his career by like one million notches: he did the scratches on "stand up tall"!
(if you are gonna get all anal about it and do like a league of weird uk rap super dj's achievements then westwood would still be tops for getting namechecked on nore's "banned from tv" and big ted would be second for presenting kids satellite tv channel trouble and then shortee blitz would be 4th after semtex because he worked in deal real.)
it was really impressively bad! but now he has kinda backed ukg raphop so if he ever bothers with vol two it will be aight! (he won't bother.) (although it would be cool if westwood was the first to document good grime on a major label!)
in that respect it shows he's now following the lead of our beloved semtex, who just upped his career by like one million notches: he did the scratches on "stand up tall"!
(if you are gonna get all anal about it and do like a league of weird uk rap super dj's achievements then westwood would still be tops for getting namechecked on nore's "banned from tv" and big ted would be second for presenting kids satellite tv channel trouble and then shortee blitz would be 4th after semtex because he worked in deal real.)
